Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I have fence marks all over my body
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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