I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
