Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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