put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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