love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
