Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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