you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
