I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
