Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
