Sry I called you an 8
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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