i just had sex bonerless
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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