im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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