guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
