oh god the rape fog is back!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
