"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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