i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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