Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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