We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
