Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
