guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
