so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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