if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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