he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
