Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
