While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
