have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
40s are totally the cure
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
