The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
