Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
