your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
