Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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