i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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