you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
the raccoons are back...
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