I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
