I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Ladies don't puke and tell
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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