i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
