Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
