Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
