with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
love makes seman taste better
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
