Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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