About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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