Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
