Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
