Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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