I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
