WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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