I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
