Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
