addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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