he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
