They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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