Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
